2KaM: Detective Link Deas Tokyo 2099
by IronicSnap
Summary: Link Deas deserves his own story, even if it is nothing more than a ridiculous fan-fiction.
1. Link Deas

It was a cold day on the morning of May 2nd, 1942. The US, eager to win the Second World War, had begun work on the Manhattan Project, the scientific assembly which would give birth to the Atom Bomb. However, America was attempting to cover its bases. Within a military base in Nevada a sister project was nearing completion. Unlike the Manhattan Project, which was worked on by several scientists, this project involved only one - Doktor Serlaut von Poisonator.

Von Poisonator was experimenting with a new pseudo-substance named Neoplasma. The concoction, formed from phone booths and Northern Irish sports cars, had powerful chronological effects. It was hoped that by infusing it with a bomb, the area affected would be trapped in a constant state of explosion.

In his laboratory, Dr von Poisonater was giving his latest invention a final check. The K.R.O.N.O.S. bomb (Killing Really Obnoxious Numbers Of Schmucks) would be his greatest work yet.

German scientists were not uncommon in American labs at the time, given how Germany was treating its people, but von Poisonater made those around him somewhat nervous. His only trait more evident than his scientific genius was his giddy excitability, and the man was completely lacking an "indoor voice". Still, he was the best, which is why the K.R.O.N.O.S. bomb had reached this stage of R&D so quickly.

In a few minutes, a small version of the bomb was to be fired at Death Valley, seeing as there were no geologists on the panel to decide where the bomb was to be tested, and geologists are the only people who care about Death Valley.

Seeing as the device was fully ready to be fired, von Poisonater entered some co-ordinates into a nearby console, giggled, and went to the viewing platform.

Various military officials had gathered to watch the launch on a platform suspended high in the air. Dr von Poisonater took his place among them, stifling chuckles.

As soon as the bomb was launched, it was clear something was wrong. The bomb was sent hurtling in the wrong direction. The truth was that von Poisonater had set the bomb to strike the White House. The military might not found out immediately, and von Poisonater might have had the time to escape, had he not burst into maniacal laughter and screams of "_Dummkopfen_!" One astute security guard put two and two together and promptly shot von Poisonater, sending the scientist tumbling off the platform.

It was far too late for the military to act. The White House would have been permanently obliterated had it not been for one thing - Dr von Poisonater's incompetence. While a genius in regards to science, von Poisonater was an idiot in almost every other field - pertinently, navigation. As such, while he believed the K.R.O.N.O.S. bomb was set to strike the nation's capital, it was in fact headed for a small town in Alabama.

A town called Maycomb, the home of Link Deas.

* * *

><p>Maycomb was in every respect an unremarkable town. It was a place where nothing progressed, no-one innovated, and there was no motivation for anyone to visit, or even pass through it. While the town held interest in some residents - mysterious shut-in Arthur Radley, orphaned Mayella Ewell and the bevy of siblings she was responsible for, the town's moral visionary Atticus Finch - to an outsider they were interchangeable with the supposedly interesting characters of the next town over.<p>

There was one man among these names who would hold a greater importance - the owner of the general store and several cotton fields, Link Deas. As an economic pillar of the town, Link employed a large number of people both black and white, and treated each and every one with respect. A man of thirty-seven years, Link wore a wide-brimmed hat and a long brown duster coat when walking outside. He was sharp, honest, of decent moral fibre - and he was about to experience quite a change.

Link was walking through the streets of Maycomb. He had just visited Atticus Finch, a long time friend of his. Atticus' wife had died about fifteen years ago, and with his two children out of town, - Jeremy "Jem" Finch in college and Jean Louise "Scout" Finch visiting him for the weekend - Atticus had seemed quite lonesome.

It was an average day in Maycomb, the residents going about their business in no real hurry. The town was as slow-moving as it always was. The only development of note in the town since the Robinson case six years earlier was a brief increase in crime, during which the sheriff, Heck Tate, advised Link to purchase a revolver. The main perpetrators were caught, and the crime wave abated, but Link found that he enjoyed keeping the fire-arm on his person. One might think that having a revolver in your pocket when walking a short distance to visit a friend may seem a tad paranoid, but as it happened it was very fortuitous that Link had the gun at that moment.

Link saw a twinkle in the summer sky, and pulled his hat lower so that he could see it better. Whatever it was, it seemed to be metallic, and very fast-moving.

"Maybe it's a plane," thought Link to himself. Maycomb had been almost completely unaffected by the world war, but the residents did know that America was testing various new weapons.

He looked away and continued walking back to store. However, his eyes wandering back to the same point in the sky, and Link noted that the object had become much larger. In fact, it was hard to shake the feeling that the machine was aiming itself for Maycomb.

Link banished such thoughts from his head. "There's no way anything important is flying towards Maycomb," he thought. "What's it gonna do, land in the town square?"

At that moment, the object landed in the town square. Perhaps "land" is not the best word to use; "crash" would be more applicable, or maybe "slam". There are a number of words which could describe how the object came to reach the ground, but only one for what it did immediately afterwards.

It exploded.

Purple matter shot out of the wreckage at all angles, even going into the ground. It moved strangely, slightly out of sync with the psychics of the world around it. It was expanding like foam, at a disturbingly fast rate.

Link could hear screaming, and before he knew what was happening the matter had almost reached him. At a loss as to what to do, Link performed the first action he thought of, and putting as much weight into it as possible, punched the matter.

Then things began to get strange.


	2. 2099

Link was thrown back by the Neoplasma, further and further, being pushed as it expanded. It covered a large area in seconds, moving at breakneck speed. When it stopped abruptly, Link was thrown onto the ground. He rolled upon impact, and lay still.

Something very odd had just happened, beyond his hometown getting slathered in weird purple stuff which forced one back upon contact. All through his little flight, the sky and the town had seemed very odd, somehow. Also, Link was pretty sure he was on fire.

Rolling lazily, Link extinguished himself, and then stood up. If he wasn't mistaken, he was on the road outside Maycomb. In front of him, he could see a strange dome-shaped barrier, blocking him out of the town. Although he couldn't hear it, the space behind the barrier seemed to be exploding constantly. Link decided not to investigate it too closely.

He turned and viewed the surrounding countryside. He had grown so used to it that what he saw shocked him, and confirmed his suspicions that something truly bizarre was happening. The countryside was brown, almost black, as opposed to its previous gold. It wasn't even the same _shape _- hills had been worn down, and odd structures could be seen on the horizon. The roads were faint outlines, covered up by the slightly less faint lines of what could be assumed to be newer roads. The sky was an eerie dark grey, and the slight breeze which blew was not met by grass or leaves.

Link stood in this deathly wasteland, more than a little confused. He heard a noise, and, having nothing better to do, decided to locate it.

In the silence, sound carried far, and soon Link was out of sight of Maycomb's odd encasement. He followed the noise into a large ditch with steep sides, and as he drew closer he began to distinguish the noise. It sounded like guttural growling. He moved past a bush to see a struggling humanoid figure, facing away from him and impaled on a sharpened stake. His first instinct would have been to help this person, but something made him hesitate. Examining the figure, he saw it was impaled at roughly the position of the heart. It was also missing a hand, and was surrounded by approximately thrice the amount of blood in the human body. These slight oddities made Link keep his distance, and it was lucky he did, for at that moment the figure turned its head to face Link.

Its eyes were terrifying, black with white centres. Its mouth was filled with sharpened teeth and smeared with blood. Upon seeing Link, its eyes widened, it screeched, and it doubled its efforts to free itself from the stake.

Link stared at this monster and backed away slowly. Perhaps, it was once a man; it had a few strands of hair, and was wearing what could have conceivably once been a suit. But it was now nothing more than a corpse, a twisted aberration of all beings in existence. So Link did what any sensible person would do when met by such a creature and shot it once in the head.

This seemed to drain the being of much of its enthusiasm, and it flopped to the ground, unmoving.

Link climbed out of the ditch, opening his revolver. He had five bullets left inside it, and none on his person beyond that. He grimaced; bullets seemed to be of some use at this point.

No sooner had he thought this than he saw figures shambling towards him on the horizon - one flinging itself forward at a commendable speed, the other having difficulty matching the pace of its compatriot due to being under-stocked in the leg department.

Link bravely turned and fled.

* * *

><p>After some time Link happened upon what was essentially a long steel girder in the sky. Having gained a considerable if slow moving fan-base at this point, Link began to climb the nearest support pillar. The nearest being, who was closing in on Link, gave a final burst of speed when it saw him begin to climb. For its effort, it slammed face-first into the metal of the pillar.<p>

A few minutes later, Link stood proudly on the elevated rail, looking down on the ruined countryside and its growling inhabitants. From above, it looked even more decrepit; and now that he knew what to look for, Link could make out the monsters, roving around in packs. The creatures below were pawing at the pillar, and were beginning to grow bored and disperse. The over-enthusiastic one was lying face down in the dirt, moaning softly; none of the others seemed to particularly care.

Link focused his attentions onto the girder he was standing on. It stretched on to the horizon in both directions, seemingly without limit. Despite its age, it was sturdy - that only made sense, as judging by the tracks it once supported some kind of train, and a big one at that.

Out of breath after running and climbing such a distance, Link lay down on the steel. A part of him was still denying that any of this was real; not thirty minutes ago he was finishing his drink at the Finch's house, and since then he had been thrown about two miles by an explosion and chased through a twisted version of the surrounding countryside by hungry corpses.

Staring up at the monochrome sky, Link sought out a gleam of hope - and surprisingly, found one. A glint of light was hovering above in the clouds. Hoping against hope it was some kind of air transport, and not some metallic bird of prey - it's not like the corpses made a lot of sense, after all - Link did his best to wave it down.

The glint continued on its merry way, seemingly oblivious to the former general store owner gesticulating below. Just as it reached the horizon, however, it swung back around. Link, elated for a moment, soon regretted his decision as the object drew closer, his mind filling with visions of gleaming talons and snapping beaks.

He was, in fact, in a shivering foetal position by the time the object arrived. He had learned a lot today - although unfazed by walking, flesh eating corpses, he apparently had a phobia of large birds. Fascinating, really.

"Hey, buddy," said a voice. Link, who thought the voice didn't really sound like a robotic death-falcon but didn't want to bet his face on such an assumption, risked an upwards glance nonetheless.

The origin of the voice was a man with a helmet obscuring most of face - however, his exposed mouth and chin belied concern. "You okay?" aforementioned mouth queried. The chin decided to remain silent for now.

Link stood up and composed himself. He was the owner of Maycomb's General Store, and he had run it successfully for over a decade. Just because things had taken something of a strange turn was no reason to lose the dignity that came associated with such a proud financial history.

"Just fine, my good man," said Link, flashing the man a smile. "I'm just a little waylaid at the moment, is all. If you'd kindly give me directions, or better yet, if it's not too imposing, a lift," added Link, having noticed the bird which was going to rend his flesh asunder was in fact a rather innocuous-looking aircraft, "I'd be much obliged."

The man thought for a second. "Uh, quick question, buddy. You know the zombies?"

Link raised an eyebrow. "The what?"

"Uh, those things," the man said, pointing down to the corpse which still wailing inconsolably into the mud.

"Oh," responded Link. "Yeah, I'd reckon at this point I'd know 'em reasonably well."

"Did any of them, uh, bite or, uh, scratch you?"

Link responded the negatory. None of the zombies had gotten within two feet of him.

"You _absolutely _sure? This is real important, buddy."

Link affirmed his previous answer.

The man leaned into the plane and shared a few quiet words with the pilot. Finally he looked back at Link and motioned him to enter the plane.

Inside were some crates and two seats facing them. There was also a door leading to a cockpit which held a pilot dressed similarly to the other man. The ride was smooth - it took some time for Link to realize they were actually moving.

The aircraft lifted gently into the sky, leaving behind the charred wasteland.

"Those are some nasty creatures down there," said the helmeted man as he took his seat. "You sure are lucky that we were going overhead, buddy."

"What in tarnation are those damned things?" said Link in a hushed voice. Looking out a window, he could even now make out packs of dots shambling about.

"You don't know? Those are zombies. Walking dead. They've got some kind of… super… virus thing. I dunno, I just fly over 'em."

"I see," said Link, not really seeing. "Why don't you do something about them? I mean, look that the countryside - it's destroyed!"

"Funny thing, that," said the guard. "We've developed a vaccine, and have plenty of military force to take care of them. We could eradicate them all, but they don't want us to."

"Who?" asked Link, confused. "The corpses?"

"No no no," said the man. "The survivors. For some reason having zombies around suits them down to the ground. Some of them had even prepared for them beforehand!"

Link sank into a seat, shaking his head. He was clearly in a strange world, and he was unsure what had happened to Maycomb, or to America for that matter. He was completely lost. He held his head in his hands and went silent for a while - the guard remained quiet, leaving his strange passenger to his thoughts.

"So then," said Link eventually. He looked up at his erstwhile host. "Where are we going?"

The man's mouth curved into a smile, and his chin seemed pretty happy about things too.

"Where else, buddy? Tokyo."


	3. Tokyo

"Here we are, buddy," were the words which stirred Link from sleep. Shaking himself to wakefulness, Link peered out of the window to see a bright and vibrant metropolis. People bustled about cheerfully. Their clothes - and, more strangely, their hair - were multicoloured, and in a massive amount of ridiculous styles. It was essentially the complete anti-thesis to Maycomb.

Link wandered outside the small aircraft, and was struck by the noise and excitement. Link had briefly visited New York in his youth, and thought at the time that the city was inconceivably busy - in comparison to Tokyo, it was a Tuscan hamlet.

His rescuer walked beside Link, and examined the city with a smile. "Gotta love this place. Always so colourful. Wouldn't mind living here, myself."

Link didn't respond, his attention focused on a purple-haired woman who was hovering 3 feet above the ground.

"So, what are you going to do, buddy?" The man poked Link gently in the side to snap him out of his reverie.

"Well, I don't know," said Link, looking around. "What would you suggest?"

"Try looking for a job. There's always a job for someone here, and money's gonna help you."

"Any advice for what job I should get?"

The man's mouth and chin expressed distaste. "Don't be a transcontinental freighter. It is very, very boring."

"Um… thanks for the tip."

"No problem, buddy."

* * *

><p>Before he knew it, Link found himself in a job centre, having bade farewell to the guard who had saved him. He sat awkwardly in a small chair, holding his hat in his hands. He looked up, glancing at the four other occupants of the waiting room.<p>

Across from him, there was a young looking girl looking down at her swinging feet. Her blue hair was peaked oddly at two symmetrical points. Her hands were in the pockets of her bright violet coat, and Link could see an old-leather bound book poking out of one of the other pockets.

Next to her, hovering about half a meter above the chair, was what seemed to Link to be a humanoid tin can. It had a yellow body and a white head and arms, the former of which housed two green eyes made of a few pixels. They caught Link's, and the general store owner looked away.

The final occupant of the room was sitting a few seats down from Link. He was wearing simplistic brown robes, but his hair caught Link's eye - a red Mohawk. Link had met a few gingers in his time, but he never met anyone with hair the colour of blood before. Also, his skin was blue and his beard was made of sharpened metal. He was glaring at the opposite wall as though it had insulted him.

The door leading to the councillor opened, and a man walked out. His eyes were covered by a large pair of blue sunglasses. He wore a bright orange jacket with matching trousers, with a belt with several odd devices clipped to it. As he ran his fingers through his jet-black hair, he walked through the waiting room with a naturally confident swagger. He paid no heed to Link or the others as he walked outside, taking one of the objects from his belt and bringing it close to his head.

"Number seven please," droned a bored voice from the councillor's office.

The angry monk gritted his teeth and stormed into the room, slamming the door behind him. Link could hear a muffled conversation, which was unintelligible until a loud voice suddenly shouted, from what Link could make out, "I'll break your [something] neck!"

Link sighed, getting the sinking feeling that the interview could take some time. He replaced his hat and raised his head, seeing the girl and tin can looking at him. He shrugged, and made a face signifying something along the lines of "Oh well, what can you do?"

Link looked out the door at the orange-wearing man. He was still talking animatedly into the small device. Then, suddenly, he was a gigantic metal foot.

Link found himself on the floor, due to a combination of a ground-shaking tremor and the fact he had jumped out of his seat due to shock. The girl also jumped up, maintaining her balance, and the can floated higher above the ground.

The door to the councillor's office flew open, and the monk jumped out. Link could see that during the short interview he had flipped the table upside down, but the knocked-over bookcase may have been the tremor's doing. The monk pointed a blue finger at the foot outside and screamed "I'll break your fu-!"

At that moment, there was a great and terrible sound as a huge metal fist tore through the ceiling. The monk's words were drowned out by the noise, which was probably for the best; Link could say for sure what word he was about to use, but he assumed it wasn't suitable for the ears of young ladies.

The fist reached down and swiped at the girl, who jumped out of the way, yelping. The monk ran up to the fist's thumb and slammed into it chin-first, embedding himself in the steel. The tin can shot some lights at the fist, which bounced off.

Link viewed this scene bemusedly, and decided that the best option might just be to crawl away while the crawling was good. Moving on his elbows, he moved quietly towards the door.

The fist retracted, knocking more of the ceiling down and bringing the yelling monk with it. Link rolled out the door, and looked up, and his eye twitched.

There was a massive mechanical humanoid standing over him, roughly three stories tall. Link noticed it had successfully grabbed the girl and the tin can, and was holding them tightly in its fist. The monk was flailing his arms ineffectually against its steel skin, held up only by his chin.

A man Link assumed to be a police officer from his blue combat-ready uniform ran up. He pointed a gun-shaped object at the monster, which had blue electricity sparking from the barrel.

"**Stop right there, criminal scum!**" he yelled. The humanoid looked down at him slowly, and with a sudden motion knocked him over with its free hand. The officer rolled over to Link, the weapon flying from his hand.

Link bent down to the man. "Are you alright, sir?" he asked. In response, the man spat some blood onto Link's hand (to the general store owner's surprise and mild disgust), moaned softly, and shut his eyes.

Link looked from the downed officer up to the metal thing's fist. The girl saw him.

"A little help, please?" she asked politely.

Link turned his gaze towards the humanoid's leg. There he saw several evenly-spaced crenulations moving upwards along the monster's body. Were one determined and exceedingly dense, one could theoretically climb to the beast's head from the ground. Of course, that was an incredibly stupid way of dealing with the problem at hand, which is why Link was so disappointed in himself when he found himself clinging to the monster's inner thigh.

The humanoid shook violently, attempting to dislodge its new-found pest. It didn't use its free hand to strike at Link, however, probably out of fear of harming itself. Link pulled himself up its torso, past the dangling monk. Link wondered quietly what kind of society this was if it allowed a man to use language such as the monk has now using on a daily basis.

Several onlookers had gathered in the shadow of the colossus. Many seemed nervous, but all were watching with interest the strangely dressed man climbing the mechanical creature.

Link had almost reached the being's face. It was hardly about to win any beauty contests - the eyes were a harsh red, its mouth a perpetual scowl, and one could see moving parts via gaps in the steel.

A voice told Link to shoot the beast through one of those gaps. As Link readied the weapon, he realized that the voice had come from the tin can, but it was a bit late to ruminate on such things. He took careful aim, gripping tightly to the metal frame of the shoulder with one hand, and fired.

Electricity connected with something important looking. Nothing happened for a moment; and then with a grinding noise, the moving parts slowed to a halt. The lights of the machine's eyes went out, and it generally loosened.

Link took a quiet moment of victory, deciding not to think too hard about what that thing was and just be happy that he had killed it. His brief moment of happiness was cut short, however, by the realization that the humanoid was slowly falling forward, and the resulting implication that Link would be two-dimensional in roughly eight seconds.


	4. Detective

The robot collided with the ground roughly eight seconds later, crushing Link Deas and wounding him fatally.

Being a sandwich was in no way enjoyable.

_**THE END.  
><strong>_

_(There. Story completed.)_


End file.
